His messages used to be paragraphs. Now they are one sentence. He used to reply in minutes. Now it takes hours. You feel the shift but you are not sure if you are imagining it. You are probably not.
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He went from writing full paragraphs to "lol" and "yeah." Message length is directly correlated with emotional investment. When someone is interested, they make the effort to give you something to respond to.
Everyone is busy. But if he consistently took 10 minutes to reply and now takes 6 hours, that shift is meaningful. People make time for what they care about.
Questions are invitations to continue talking. When he stops asking them, he is no longer investing in learning about you. He is coasting on what you provide.
You are always the one to text first. You are always the one suggesting plans. The ratio of initiation tells you who is more invested. If it is 80/20 and you are the 80, he is letting you carry the relationship.
He used to say "we should try that restaurant" or "next summer we could..." Now everything is about today with no forward-looking language. When someone stops building a future with you in conversation, they may not see you in theirs.
Once is understandable. Twice is a pattern. Three times is a message. Pay attention to whether cancellations come with a specific alternative ("Can we do Thursday instead?") or just a vague "let me check my schedule."
Less physical affection. Sits farther away. Stops reaching for your hand. Physical withdrawal usually precedes emotional withdrawal and is one of the earliest signs.
He used to tell you about his day, his frustrations, his victories. Now you learn things from his social media instead of from him directly. Sharing is intimacy. When it stops, the intimacy is fading.
Do not chase harder. The instinct when someone pulls away is to pursue more aggressively. This almost always backfires. It confirms that you are more invested than he is and shifts the power dynamic further.
Match his energy. If he takes a day to reply, do not reply in 30 seconds. Mirror the effort and investment you receive. This is not playing games -- it is protecting your dignity.
Have a direct conversation. If you have been dating (not just talking), you have the right to ask: "I've noticed things feel different between us. Where are you at?" His answer -- or avoidance of one -- will tell you everything.
Set a boundary. Decide privately what you will accept. "If nothing changes in 2 weeks, I'm moving on." Then follow through.
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